God Isn't Hiding

There are those who think that if God does exist, that he is being very unfair in not showing himself. If he would just come and stand before them and say "here I am," then they would believe in him. But if he's going to be "covert" then they will not believe that he exists, because even if he does, they don't want to believe in a God that is trying to "trick" them.

This attitude has always saddened me when I see it. I have never felt that God was hiding or trying to trick me. I had no way of identifying with the feeling, and therefore no way of addressing the problem. I still do not identify with the feeling, but I think I know what I would say now.

First of all, if God showed himself to you, right now, appeared before you where you sit, you could not live. You would immediately be dead. Your time on earth would be over and it would be judgment time. No man can see God and live. His radiance, his perfection, his righteousness, his power--everything he is--cannot be taken in by a mere mortal human. If this hasn't happened, and you are still living on this earth, count it as a blessing. For those of you who already believe, you are here to be a light in the dark. For those of you who do not believe, it is God's mercy that you are not standing before his judgment throne. You still have time to repent and turn to him. Do not squander that time, it is a gift. One that none of us deserve.

Second of all, God shows himself to you every day. Every hour. Every minute. Your heartbeat, your breath, your eyesight, your fingers, hands, nose, ears are all a testimony to a Being more powerful than we can imagine. A baby's laugh, a child's first word, a flower, a waterfall, the sky, the sun, the moon, the universe. It is all proclaiming, shouting to you that God exists, that he is here, and he is powerful, and he is sovereign, and he is loving.

It is interesting to me that we tend to look back on our ancestors with a bit of superiority. They didn't understand what we understand. They were simple. We get it now. We know what's really going on. Our wealth of knowledge has tended to make us think "we don't need God anymore." And yet, if anything, this increased knowledge should only serve to display more clearly that God is real. In a time long ago, they understood that a tree could grow from a tiny seed, but I'm sure it was still quite mysterious to them. Maybe it even seemed magical. But now that we understand so many intricacies of how the process works, how can we even begin to imagine that it could take place without a Designer? In a time long ago they knew people's feet stayed on the ground, but now that we know why, now that we understand gravity and how it works and how it is accomplished, how can the intellectually honest person say it happened completely by chance? DNA? Quantum physics? The smarter we get, the more loudly God proclaims his majesty, and yet the faster we run from him.

If you sit in the corner with your eyes covered and your ears plugged, then you cannot accuse God of tricking you when you do not see him or hear him. You see, God is showing himself time and time again. Patiently, lovingly, plainly, he says "here I am." Make sure that your response to his revelation of himself to you is not to put on a thicker blindfold, or to put more cotton in your ears.

~For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.~Romans 1:20

My First 10 on 10!

Start them early, right? I found F "reading" the Bible to C this morning.

C takes a morning snooze during school.

F and A during school.

E working hard on phonics.

F learned about ABB color patterns today.

A cheers while watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition. They love that show. I let them watch it on Hulu today, since I sent them to bed before it was over last night.

Dinner

"Look, Mom! The bottom of my biscuit looks like a poodle!"

C has decided to be fussy a LOT lately. Which works in my husband's favor since I count it a huge help for him to just sit and keep her happy. Works out well during football season.

E reads A a bedtime story.

Belonging

I hate stereotypes. I bristle at them. I groan inwardly at them. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I've been guilty of stereotyping, but for the most part I try very hard not to do so. Perhaps it is because I'm all too familiar with being stereotyped. One look at my life and you will see lots of opportunity to make assumptions about me. I'm a pastor's kid. I'm a middle child. I have red hair. I am a "born again" believer. I did not go to college. I homeschool my kids. I grew up in nowheresville. I don't have much fashion sense. I never had braces, even though I probably could have used them. Seems like every time I turn around I hear one of these things about my life stereotyped negatively (even if it is not directed at me). While this was definitely far more difficult for me when I was young, I still struggle with feeling like I just don't fit in. I'm abnormal. Odd. Inferior. And while we all struggle to find a sense of belonging, I think some of us feel it a bit more acutely.

Perhaps that is why I am drawn to verses in the Bible about belonging to Christ - and there are so many of them. They remind me I have a place. And my place is with the only One who will never make assumptions about me. He doesn't need to assume, for he knows me through and through. He loves me through and through. When he looks at me he doesn't see crooked teeth, out-dated clothes, or frizzy red hair. He sees his child. And when I remember this it makes all my insecurities seem so insignificant. After all, if God is for me, who can be against me?

Meaning It

I was reading a book to my girls tonight, and it used a verse from the translation of the Bible called "The Message." I'm not that familiar with "The Message" but this verse really jumped out at me. It said "God's there, listening for all who pray, for all who pray and mean it." I wondered why this verse had never struck me before. I looked it up in my two favorite translations (NIV and ESV) and realized why. In those translations it says God is near to those who call on Him in truth. For whatever reason, calling on God in truth is an abstract, nebulous concept to me. This verse didn't have "teeth" before. I know it should have, but it didn't. Since I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately, there is no doubt in my mind God wanted me to see this verse in this translation. He wanted it to stand out. He wanted me to think about it.

I started thinking about how often I really mean it when I pray. There are definitely times when I have called on God desperately, pleadingly. These times stick out in my mind, and the answers to the prayers stick out in my mind, too. They were clear, obvious answers. But these times are a small percentage of my prayers. Truthfully, there are so many times when my prayers are just an empty recitation. They are "vain repetitions." But how do I remedy this? How do I make sure my prayers are sincere?

I think if I had a constant recognition of who God is and what an awesome thing it is that I can talk to him at any time and he is near and is listening, I'd be on my knees constantly. And I wouldn't be on my knees saying "Lord make me healthy, Lord make me wealthy, and Lord don't let my children ever be hurt." I'd be saying "Lord help me to trust you even if I'm dying. Lord help me be satisfied in you if I have nothing else. Lord save my children's souls. Lord, help them to never turn away from you no matter what happens." These are the prayers that I can pray passionately. These are the prayers that turn vain repetitions into sincerity. These are the prayers I can pray and really mean it.

12 Things a Lot of People Don't Know About Me

1. I want to get to know people, and I will open up if they give me a chance.

2. I like talking with people.

3. I blog. (ok, so most of you reading this already know that.)

4. I love God so much that I can't seem to put it into words, and this frustrates me greatly.

5. Laziness is my besetting sin (but I'm improving).

6. Impatience is my other besetting sin (but I'm working on it).

7. I'm not sure I know of many people who had a closer childhood friend than I did.

8. Sometimes I think about adopting a child. If the process wasn't so difficult and complicated (I don't even know where to start) we probably would have adopted already.

9. I typically leave a conversation wishing I'd said more (although there are times I wish I'd said less).

10. I've lived in three different states. I've noticed that the weather is pretty much the same in all three of them, although most people like to think their state's weather is dramatically unique to that state.

11. I've noticed that people are fundamentally the same in all three states, too.

12. Did I mention I like talking with people?

Here Goes Nothing...

I don't like writing about homeschool on my blog. Sometimes I'd rather people just didn't know I homeschool. Some people are supportive, and other people bring up tired arguments against it that I'm weary of hearing, and still other people seem to get defensive--as if the mere fact that I homeschool means I look down my nose at them for not homeschooling. Let me set the record straight. I don't. I am not a die-hard homeschool mom. I am not in any way going to suggest that you don't love your kids as much as I do if you don't homeschool. Ever. So this is my effort to clarify why, exactly, I do homeschool.

1. I love flexibility. LOVE it. I love being able to have slow mornings when I need it, and work double time to get lots done on the days when I am very motivated. I love being able to visit my family in Columbus or go out of town when the mood and opportunity strikes, without being tied down to a school schedule. I love that all of us can spend the day together if Christian happens to get a day off work for some reason. I love that our schedule is what I make of it.

2. I need something to devote my time to. I know there are those of you who are extremely self-motivated. If given some free time you will use it to do something productive, important, and life-changing. If I have free time I will use it to....sit around. Having my children's education in my hands is very motivating. It gives me something to work at, to devote my energy to, to give the day meaning.

3. There are advantages to homeschooling. My kids' education is tailor-made to my and my husbands specifications. We go at their pace and we teach them our own values. This is where people can get defensive, but just hold on. If I didn't think there were advantages to a homeschool education I wouldn't do it. That doesn't mean there are not advantages to a formal school setting. There are disadvantages and advantages to every choice we make. All of us decide which advantages and disadvantages we want to deal with. Why do we feel we all have to make the same choices in life? Why do we seem to think that if we decide on a certain path and someone else takes a different one, that they are somehow saying we are wrong? The world is made up of public school students, private school students, homeschool students, unschooled students--all kinds of students. These differences are good. We have different perspectives, and when we rub shoulders with people who have taken different paths we bring something different to the table.

4. I am 100% certain that socialization is a non-issue. Unless we are talking about knowing which tennis shoes are the trendy new thing, parents and life in general socializes a child, not a formal school setting. Whether my kids go to school or not, my husband and I must teach them how to interact with those around them, and especially how to show God's love to those around them. Sure, there are those parents who value isolation from the world more highly than being salt and light in the world, and those parents will probably choose to homeschool. Don't allow them to speak for all homeschoolers, please. And I promise I will not point out the weirdest child in public school or private school and ask you if you are afraid your child will end up like them.

Okay, I think that's it for now. There are lots of other things I could say, but for now I have to end this. Thanks for listening.

Sovereign Hands

My husband and I were talking on the way home from church the other day after hearing yet another excellent sermon from our Pastor. I said I couldn't help but look back on my life and see a progression in the teaching I've received. Each step was difficult and painful, but such a blessing in the end. In my childhood I received a great foundation in the Bible. Between my church and my school, by the time I graduated I knew the Bible very well. And I believed it, too, although looking back I still don't think it was real to me.

I never would have chosen to leave the area I grew up in, but the choice wasn't mine. At the time I felt like I was yanked out and I remember crying and asking God why he was doing this? What possible good could come of it?

The church he brought me to, though, was just what I needed. You see, I had always thought of myself as a pretty good person. I would say salvation was all of grace, but deep down I don't think I had any concept that I, Jenny Parsons, did not deserve salvation. At my new church I learned about sin. I learned about depravity. I learned how far I had fallen. I learned how filthy my rags really were. I realized how hopeless my situation was. Needless to say, it was rough, but it was also necessary.

Once again, I did not choose to leave that place, and once again I was "yanked" out. I guess you could argue that it was my choice this time, but having to choose between the man you love and the home you love is not that simple. Once again I found myself in a new church.

I feel like I had a bag full of puzzle pieces when I came to this new church. I had all the pieces and I knew each piece well. I had collected them from teachers, parents, pastors, and leaders who had ministered to me in the past. Now it was time to put them together. Through the teaching at Bethesda I finally started to click those pieces together and see the greater picture. I'm realizing it's bigger than I ever imagined and it will take more than a lifetime to see the entire thing. But what I have managed to put together is amazing. At my previous church I learned how sinful I was--at Bethesda I started to realize how costly my salvation really was. I started to see what my purpose here really is. I am learning about courage, finishing the course, what it really means to persevere, to love others, to bear God's image. I've never been so excited about God's Word. It's impossible for me to look back at this point in my life and not see God's hand so clearly. It is also impossible for me to look ahead and not anticipate what's in store.

Realizing now what God was doing back then is such a comfort as I face the days ahead. I know that no matter what comes, God is in control of all of it, and he has only my good in mind.

"God Reigns in the Storm"

Steve and Vicki Cook

"There are sovereign hands

Holding all my days

Yes, I know God reigns in the storm.

Every trial and pain

Wisdom has ordained

Yes, I know God reigns in the storm."