I have three daughters. Three precious, adorable, funny, loving, infuriating daughters. And there are times I think I've lost all sense of myself at this time in my life. I often feel I only exist to sustain my daughters. To clothe them, to discipline them, to teach them, to feed them, to play with them, to clean them, and to protect them. They are always with me. Constantly. Sure, there are the occasional date nights, but for the most part they are by my side. And while I feel it cliche to monopolize my blog with stories of my kids, my kids are what I know. They are what I can write pages and pages about.
So this blog post is about them, and dedicated to them.
My oldest daughter is 5 years old. She fancies herself a princess. She loves to dress up in fancy clothes and wear gaudy jewelry. She has an imaginary friend named David. He is not just any David. He is King David. The one who killed Goliath. She will talk to him, laugh with him, call him on the phone, chide him, and tell him about her day.
She loves Jesus. I know I can't know for sure that she is a true believer at the age of five, but still, I can't help but see her love for God grow each day.
She has a mind that has trouble focusing at times, and at times it is too focused.
She wears each emotion she feels prominently on her sleeve. I never have to guess how she is feeling. If she is happy, she will laugh and squeal in unabashed delight. If she is upset she will cry loudly. If she is angry she will pout, if she is bored she will sigh dramatically. When she is watching a movie you can tell what is happening in the movie simply by watching her expressions. Her fear, her sadness, her delight at what is happening is written plainly on her face.
She has high expectations of herself, and gets frustrated when she doesn't meet those expectations. She cries when she doesn't get all her spelling words correct, and throws her arms around me in utter relief when she does get them all correct. The other night she knocked over her plate when she was eating. Minutes later she did it again and exclaimed in despair "Why do I keep spilling!?"
My second daughter is almost 4 years old. She is very different from my oldest. She is quieter. She is more subdued. I can't tell what she's thinking or feeling just by looking at her. She had strep throat for over a week one time before I finally took her to the doctor. When they said "strep" I said that was impossible. The child had never once complained of a sore throat. The only reason I took her in was because she was acting more tired than usual.
She will be persuaded on many occasions to join her older sister in her imaginative play, but if left to herself you will find her doing a puzzle over and over, or looking at books.
She tries to hide it, but she wants very much to be like her older sister. And yet there is another side of her that wants desperately to be independent--separate--from her sister. I know exactly how she feels. She is probably the child I identify with the most. Conflicting emotions seem to be the norm for a middle child. She will go along with a rule or with one of her older sister's ideas for days on end with no hint of rebellion and then one day she will decide she's not going to do it and dig her feet in and not give up. This sort of behavior leaves her sister and her father bewildered, but I get it. I understand what's going on in her head and with her emotions. She wants to fit in. She wants to be led. She wants to please people, but there are times when she wonders who she is and decides to be different--to stand out--if only for a moment. I often tell her she is the only one of the three that has an older sister AND a younger sister, and so she is special. This makes her smile and hold her head a little higher. Heaven help me if we have another baby and I can't use that line anymore.
My third daughter is a year and a half. She is constantly happy as long as A. Mommy is nearby and B. Mommy is not on the phone. She loves to make people laugh and is always making sure people are watching her. She will not go unnoticed. As long as I am in the vicinity she will walk all over a room of strangers, going up to them and smiling at them with a big goofy grin until they notice her and smile back. She loves to be cuddled and will never turn down a hug. Her favorite thing to do is to nestle in my arms and have me sing to her.
She knows she is not allowed to touch my computer, but I will often find her with her hands hovering over the keyboard--as close as she can get them without actually touching it.
She will babble unintelligibly to me, and seems to really know what she is saying, and really believe that I know what she is saying, too.
No matter what you ask her she will always respond "yeah." The only time she says "no" is if she is prompted.
She is probably my most easy-going child, and doesn't show many of the signs of stubbornness that her older sisters showed at an early age. Sometimes she will flash me the cheesiest grin as if to say "it's all good."
I find so much joy in being a Mommy to these three little girls. Each one unique and each one a gift from God. I find it hard to believe that He has entrusted me and my husband with such special kids.
