Sovereign Hands

My husband and I were talking on the way home from church the other day after hearing yet another excellent sermon from our Pastor. I said I couldn't help but look back on my life and see a progression in the teaching I've received. Each step was difficult and painful, but such a blessing in the end. In my childhood I received a great foundation in the Bible. Between my church and my school, by the time I graduated I knew the Bible very well. And I believed it, too, although looking back I still don't think it was real to me.

I never would have chosen to leave the area I grew up in, but the choice wasn't mine. At the time I felt like I was yanked out and I remember crying and asking God why he was doing this? What possible good could come of it?

The church he brought me to, though, was just what I needed. You see, I had always thought of myself as a pretty good person. I would say salvation was all of grace, but deep down I don't think I had any concept that I, Jenny Parsons, did not deserve salvation. At my new church I learned about sin. I learned about depravity. I learned how far I had fallen. I learned how filthy my rags really were. I realized how hopeless my situation was. Needless to say, it was rough, but it was also necessary.

Once again, I did not choose to leave that place, and once again I was "yanked" out. I guess you could argue that it was my choice this time, but having to choose between the man you love and the home you love is not that simple. Once again I found myself in a new church.

I feel like I had a bag full of puzzle pieces when I came to this new church. I had all the pieces and I knew each piece well. I had collected them from teachers, parents, pastors, and leaders who had ministered to me in the past. Now it was time to put them together. Through the teaching at Bethesda I finally started to click those pieces together and see the greater picture. I'm realizing it's bigger than I ever imagined and it will take more than a lifetime to see the entire thing. But what I have managed to put together is amazing. At my previous church I learned how sinful I was--at Bethesda I started to realize how costly my salvation really was. I started to see what my purpose here really is. I am learning about courage, finishing the course, what it really means to persevere, to love others, to bear God's image. I've never been so excited about God's Word. It's impossible for me to look back at this point in my life and not see God's hand so clearly. It is also impossible for me to look ahead and not anticipate what's in store.

Realizing now what God was doing back then is such a comfort as I face the days ahead. I know that no matter what comes, God is in control of all of it, and he has only my good in mind.

"God Reigns in the Storm"

Steve and Vicki Cook

"There are sovereign hands

Holding all my days

Yes, I know God reigns in the storm.

Every trial and pain

Wisdom has ordained

Yes, I know God reigns in the storm."