Letting Go

So what are your life changing moments? I'm pretty sure we've all had them. You know, the moments when you are faced with some new information, some new experience, and you have to decide what you are going to do with that. It changes what you previously knew to be true, it shakes your foundation. 

I've had a few of those moments.  Moving to a new school, new church, new town, even a new state just before my senior year of high school was one of those moments. Getting married, and moving out of state again was another life changing moment. Perhaps one of my biggest life changing moments came when my first daughter was born. 

Up until that point the challenge from God was to give myself completely over to him. But all of a sudden God was asking me to give something else over to him--my baby girl. I admit, I didn't let go willingly. I had never loved and cared about someone so much that it scared me. I was almost in a panic at first. The last thing I wanted to do was say "God, she's all yours." Questions whirled around in my head. "What if she gets hurt? what if she gets sick? what if she rebels? what if she dies? what if she never receives salvation?" That last one was the worst. I couldn't bear the thought.  So I clung to her as if I could protect her from all the what-ifs... and the world became such a scary place. 

Finally there came a time when I could stand it no longer. So with tears and trembling I brought my baby girl to the Lord and put her in his sovereign arms. What a relief that was! And it wasn't because I instantly had some great confidence that she would never be hurt, she would never get sick, she would never rebel, never die, and that she would surely come to faith in Christ. The relief came because I realized God had a plan--and no matter what that plan involved, he meant it for good. And the most life changing realization of all--even if God chooses for me to be the mother of an unbeliever--he has a purpose in it.  I saw the bigger picture that day--the day I handed Evelyn over to God.  

Since then I've had two more baby girls.  And as soon as they were placed in my arms I didn't walk--I ran to Christ and said "She is yours! Her life, her soul are in your hands!"  What else can I do but give them back to God? They are rightfully his to begin with, and he will do with them what he pleases. And everything God does is good.