Stop Swinging. Stand Firm.

There is more than one definition for the word "legalism", but in Christian circles it pretty much means to judge the health of one's spiritual life, or even the validity of their salvation based on rules of conduct that are extra-biblical. My life has definitely been affected by legalism. As I grew, I started recognizing things that I had been taught to believe as sinful that were not, in fact, recognized as sin in the Bible. I am not bitter about it, though. Not a bit. It is not hard to see how a generation of people who grew up in a time where tattoos were a sign of rebellion would consider it wrong for their children to get a tattoo. When you grow up with an alcoholic father who destroys his life and the lives of his family, it is not hard to see how drinking becomes associated with evil. When you see the depravity represented in so many movies and TV shows, it is not astonishing when people decide the Christian's life is better off without it. When you notice the oversexualization our culture is engaged it is not surprising that some will take modesty to an extreme.

So I am not bitter. I understand. But like a lot of other people who grew up affected by legalism, I decided I was going to try to rid my life of legalism. I realize it is not as easy as it may seem. The first instinct is to jump on the pendulum in the opposite direction of legalism. The funny thing is, it is not the opposite of legalism that you end up with when you get on that pendulum. In most cases, you end up just as entrenched in legalism as you were before. Instead of viewing those with tattoos, or those who drink, or watch R rated movies, or wear shorts that seem a bit too short as "lesser Christians", you start viewing Christians who don't partake of those things as the "lesser Christians." And all the while you may be more legalistic in your thinking than the Christians who refrain. 

I'm not a fan of pendulum swinging. I see it in my life and the lives of others and I cringe. In order to fight against one wrong we end up swinging so far the other way that we end up just as wrong. Legalism is just one area where I am trying to find that perfect balance. But balance can not be found when I am riding the pendulum. Riding the pendulum will only end up at one of two extremes. So what is the answer? Look to Christ. I need to center my heart and my mind on my Savior and I will find I have no use for pendulum swinging any longer. He is steadfast, and only at His feet will I find a firm place to stand. 

Failing

There seems to be somewhat of a trend of writing lists of things no one told us before having kids. It's as if it's other parents' responsibility to prepare us for every single thing that would or could happen when we are pregnant, give birth, and raise children. Not one to buck a trend, I decided to make my own list.

So here goes.

No one told me that as a mother I'd:
1. Feel like a failure over and over and over again.

That's about it. All the other stuff has been mentioned. Like the fact that you'll get used to finding boogers in odd places, you'll give up on combing your children's hair unless you are going somewhere (going outside to play and going to the grocery store do not count as "going somewhere"), you will sometimes feed your children sugary cereal for dinner, and you will discover that fishing poop out of a tub of water is not as easy as it may seem. I could go on and on. But when it comes right down to it, the one thing that is hardest to handle as a mother is the feeling of failure.

I'm sure we have all felt like a failure at some point in our lives. It isn't a feeling restricted to mothers. But I know that I didn't feel that feeling quite so deeply or quite so often as I do now that I am a mother. I think that's because 97.8% (that's a low estimate) of my energy is devoted to my children at this time in my life. When you are pouring that much of yourself and your strength into one thing (raising children) then you expect that you'd do a pretty good job. But no. You give everything you've got and so many days, after you get them to bed and kiss them goodnight you sit down and think to yourself, "I've failed in so many ways today." Add to that the fact that raising children is probably the most important thing you will ever devote your time to, and it is a recipe for profound discouragement.

So as an encouragement to those who feel this feeling of parenting failure, or who are thinking of possibly becoming parents at some point in their lives, let me say this: I'm pretty sure you are SUPPOSED to feel like a failure at child rearing, because, well, you are one. But when you get to that point where you realize you simply can't do it alone (and it's not one moment in time, the realization will come and go) it is then that you can begin to give your children to God. It is not an excuse to give up, though. Work as diligently as you can as you learn and grow in Christ, to be a good mother. Shoot for that perfect balance of mercy and discipline. Lavish your kids with love. Cry out for patience (you will need it every hour). And take that feeling of failure and turn it into a wonderful knowledge of your dependence on Christ. Draw on his strength. He gives it freely!

Let's be Logical

I don't know that I have the corner on logic. In fact, I'm pretty sure my engineer husband would be the first to say I can be just as irrational as the next person, especially at certain times. But there is such a lack of logic around me at times, and from people who, when it comes down to it, are probably smarter than I am, but still they can't seem to think logically about some things.

For instance, I'm a homeschooling mom. I understand that something inside me starts to feel defensive when the story of the really bad homeschooling parents, who were isolating their children, abusing them, neglecting them, or just not educating them comes up. But really, why am I offended by that? Yes, there ARE bad homeschooling parents. Really bad ones. There are also mediocre ones. There are also good ones, and also really great ones. It is not logical for me to get offended when the story comes up. Just like it is not logical for someone to hear that story and say "Ugh. Homeschooling is bad. All homeschooling families are messed up. No one should homeschool."

So I will say this again, for anyone who is reading this (all 3 of you, who are probably already on board with homeschooling and also, most likely, part of my family) I promise to not get offended when the really bad homeschooling parents get what's coming to them. I promise to agree that they should not be allowed to homeschool, and in some cases, not even be allowed to keep their children. I promise I will not defend them, and not assume you to be anti-homeschooling if you comment on the wrongness of their situation. All I ask of you is that you don't hear the stories and think it says something about me, or about any other homeschooler. Don't think "Homeschooling should be illegal" or "homeschooling is what's wrong with the world," or "all homeschooling parents are messing up their kids."

And also, I promise not to do that to your profession. When I hear about bad teachers, I will never say "all teachers are bad." When I hear about bad doctors I will not think, "All doctors are bad." When I hear about bad pastors I will not think "All pastors are bad." Truth is, I've had great teachers, and some not so great. I've had great doctors and some I wouldn't go back to. I've had great pastors....actually, out of the three men who were at one time my pastor, all three of them are pretty great. But still, I know that doesn't mean all pastors are great. I won't even think "All politicians are bad." The truth is, some of them DO care. And it's illogical to think every last one of them are bad.

The bottom line is, we live in a very broken world. We are just a bunch of broken people, building broken systems. Some of us try our best and care about people and try to work the broken system for the good of others and the world, and some of us care only about ourselves and try to work the broken system in our favor. And sometimes, even those of us who try to care about other people are found guilty of caring only about ourselves. So be careful. Be careful what conclusions you come to. If you think homeschooling deserves to be illegal because of the bad homeschooling parents, then think about what that would mean for your profession. In a country where judging others is considered the worst sin of all, we are really all just a bunch of judgmental people. We are constantly making illogical judgments and lumping people into stereotypes and saying "there oughta be a law!" at the slightest provocation. And it seems to me that it is illogical ideas like this that are mostly to blame for all our broken systems that end up tying the hands of the good parents, the good teachers, the good doctors, the good politicians, and so on.

So there it is. A call to logic. Hopefully it made some sense. If not, you can blame it on my irrational tendencies.

What To Do With Tebow

I am not a football fan. Never have been, never will be. I inwardly groan a bit at the beginning of a football season. You see, my husband (bless his heart) IS a football fan, so we watch a good deal of it in our house. This is fine with me most of the time (thank goodness for laptops), but there are moments when I just want football to go away.

Football this season has been a little more interesting, though. If you have been visiting another planet or some such thing, then you may not have heard of Tim Tebow. He is a young man who should have died before he was even born. His parents were told to abort him because the pregnancy was a threat to his mother's life and he wouldn't survive until term anyway. Well, his parents stood fast to their beliefs and did not abort him. He was born full term and grew up healthy and strong--strong enough to be a great football player. And strong enough to hold fast to his Savior. He is not shy about his beliefs, and from what I've seen, he's the real thing. He is genuine. He's a breath of fresh air.

Now why, you may ask, does he get all this attention when there are other Christian athletes out there? Well, I think there is more than one answer to that. First of all, his testimony of how he was supposed to be aborted, and his pro-life stance because of it, drew a lot of attention. Abortion is a very hot topic for a lot of people, and those who are pro-abortion instantly hated Tebow. It didn't matter that the commercial he did with his mother was very uplifting, non-confrontational, and all in all just really sweet, they still hated him. And he was thrust into the limelight.

The other reason for his popularity would be better explained by my husband. Football stats are not my cup of tea, but this I know: Tim Tebow is not supposed to win games. Sports fans and analysts are scratching their heads and wondering how this young, rookie quarterback is bringing the Broncos closer and closer to the Superbowl. They can't deny that he wins games, they just can't figure out how he does it.

So maybe you are out there, not into football, thinking televised sports are a waste of time, and wondering what's the big deal? I've heard some of you say it. You shrug your shoulders and say it's just football. He's just an athlete. God doesn't care about football....right?

I'm here to say that I'm pretty sure God does care about football. And God does care about Tim Tebow. He even cares who wins the Superbowl (and even if it's not the Broncos, he still has a reason for who wins it). You see, I have to believe that. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't believe that, because I believe that God cares about the intricacies of my own life. If I believe that God cares about my job as a homemaker, then how could I say he doesn't care about Tim Tebow's job? If I can go about my daily activities of cleaning toilets and scrubbing dried food off of dishes and wiping snot off noses, and say "I can do all to the glory of God" then who am I to say that Tim Tebow can't play football to the glory of God? The truth is, he can play football to the glory of God. And he's actually showing us what it looks like to play football to the glory of God. And it really has nothing to do with whether the Broncos win or lose. I believe Tim Tebow can win or lose to the glory of God.

So in light of the truth that Tim Tebow, as far as we can tell, is playing football to the glory of God, then I say we as his brothers and sisters in Christ, should get behind him. Stop trying to distance yourself. We are so used to celebrities claiming to be some sort of Christian and then failing miserably to look anything like a Christian, that we instantly run 50 feet in any direction away from anyone famous who claims Christ. Well, it's time to stop running. There is a whole lot of confusion out there about what a genuine Christian looks like. It might clear things up if we distance ourselves from the ones who just claim to know Christ, and stand behind the ones who actually do know Christ. Let the world know that there is a difference between Britney Spears and Tim Tebow (and between Justin Bieber and Kirk Cameron). There is a lot of confusion out there about what a Christian actually looks like. Maybe we could clear some of it up if we stand behind the famous Christians who actually seem to "get it."

And while I'm on the whole Tebow subject, I'd like to say, once and for all, that I do not think all the 316 stats from the last game were just a coincidence. I am not superstitious, but I also don't believe in coincidences. And any "coincidence" that results in the verse John 3:16 being the most searched phrase at yahoo.com for a day, is not just random chance. God is always working, and the older I get, the more I see his hand in everything--even in football.

God Isn't Hiding

There are those who think that if God does exist, that he is being very unfair in not showing himself. If he would just come and stand before them and say "here I am," then they would believe in him. But if he's going to be "covert" then they will not believe that he exists, because even if he does, they don't want to believe in a God that is trying to "trick" them.

This attitude has always saddened me when I see it. I have never felt that God was hiding or trying to trick me. I had no way of identifying with the feeling, and therefore no way of addressing the problem. I still do not identify with the feeling, but I think I know what I would say now.

First of all, if God showed himself to you, right now, appeared before you where you sit, you could not live. You would immediately be dead. Your time on earth would be over and it would be judgment time. No man can see God and live. His radiance, his perfection, his righteousness, his power--everything he is--cannot be taken in by a mere mortal human. If this hasn't happened, and you are still living on this earth, count it as a blessing. For those of you who already believe, you are here to be a light in the dark. For those of you who do not believe, it is God's mercy that you are not standing before his judgment throne. You still have time to repent and turn to him. Do not squander that time, it is a gift. One that none of us deserve.

Second of all, God shows himself to you every day. Every hour. Every minute. Your heartbeat, your breath, your eyesight, your fingers, hands, nose, ears are all a testimony to a Being more powerful than we can imagine. A baby's laugh, a child's first word, a flower, a waterfall, the sky, the sun, the moon, the universe. It is all proclaiming, shouting to you that God exists, that he is here, and he is powerful, and he is sovereign, and he is loving.

It is interesting to me that we tend to look back on our ancestors with a bit of superiority. They didn't understand what we understand. They were simple. We get it now. We know what's really going on. Our wealth of knowledge has tended to make us think "we don't need God anymore." And yet, if anything, this increased knowledge should only serve to display more clearly that God is real. In a time long ago, they understood that a tree could grow from a tiny seed, but I'm sure it was still quite mysterious to them. Maybe it even seemed magical. But now that we understand so many intricacies of how the process works, how can we even begin to imagine that it could take place without a Designer? In a time long ago they knew people's feet stayed on the ground, but now that we know why, now that we understand gravity and how it works and how it is accomplished, how can the intellectually honest person say it happened completely by chance? DNA? Quantum physics? The smarter we get, the more loudly God proclaims his majesty, and yet the faster we run from him.

If you sit in the corner with your eyes covered and your ears plugged, then you cannot accuse God of tricking you when you do not see him or hear him. You see, God is showing himself time and time again. Patiently, lovingly, plainly, he says "here I am." Make sure that your response to his revelation of himself to you is not to put on a thicker blindfold, or to put more cotton in your ears.

~For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.~Romans 1:20

My First 10 on 10!

Start them early, right? I found F "reading" the Bible to C this morning.

C takes a morning snooze during school.

F and A during school.

E working hard on phonics.

F learned about ABB color patterns today.

A cheers while watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition. They love that show. I let them watch it on Hulu today, since I sent them to bed before it was over last night.

Dinner

"Look, Mom! The bottom of my biscuit looks like a poodle!"

C has decided to be fussy a LOT lately. Which works in my husband's favor since I count it a huge help for him to just sit and keep her happy. Works out well during football season.

E reads A a bedtime story.

Belonging

I hate stereotypes. I bristle at them. I groan inwardly at them. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I've been guilty of stereotyping, but for the most part I try very hard not to do so. Perhaps it is because I'm all too familiar with being stereotyped. One look at my life and you will see lots of opportunity to make assumptions about me. I'm a pastor's kid. I'm a middle child. I have red hair. I am a "born again" believer. I did not go to college. I homeschool my kids. I grew up in nowheresville. I don't have much fashion sense. I never had braces, even though I probably could have used them. Seems like every time I turn around I hear one of these things about my life stereotyped negatively (even if it is not directed at me). While this was definitely far more difficult for me when I was young, I still struggle with feeling like I just don't fit in. I'm abnormal. Odd. Inferior. And while we all struggle to find a sense of belonging, I think some of us feel it a bit more acutely.

Perhaps that is why I am drawn to verses in the Bible about belonging to Christ - and there are so many of them. They remind me I have a place. And my place is with the only One who will never make assumptions about me. He doesn't need to assume, for he knows me through and through. He loves me through and through. When he looks at me he doesn't see crooked teeth, out-dated clothes, or frizzy red hair. He sees his child. And when I remember this it makes all my insecurities seem so insignificant. After all, if God is for me, who can be against me?